Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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