he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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