She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
