i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
