I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
it's like iHOP with fire
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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