so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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