her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize