you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
