We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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