i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
