just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The adults are the big ones right?
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