my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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