Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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