I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
