Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Green mimosas i think yes
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize