When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
