do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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