Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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