lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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