Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize
