I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Randomize
