I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
