You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
