all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
