how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
