so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
