Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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