ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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