Just cropdusted the office
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
