So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
