i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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