But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
