Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize