hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
