Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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