Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
