she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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