Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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