i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
