So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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