what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
