My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize