hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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