TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
