It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
