are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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