3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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