I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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