the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
