Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
