This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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