Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
