I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize