Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
