it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
