I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Non-Jews are for practice
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
