you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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